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Win-win

Chris seemed to have matured as a father – acknowledge his responsibility, if not accept it yet – during Daniel and my time in Melbourne.  I wanted to think he missed us over the three weeks, but as he...

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Hand, bony

And how do you let go?  How will I let Daniel go after near two decades of devotion to his life, sacrifice to his opportunities to live whole?  I don’t know how to let go.  What is gone from me (Mum)...

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The One Called Out

By April the 6th, the year following Daniel’s birth, his feet had become big enough for shoes.    Our excursion to the supermarket to buy his first pair, was momentous. . Had truly my own feet once...

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Trust?

The first time I left Daniel with Chris and Tracy overnight, I felt I was betraying Daniel by leaving him with them. . I sat and spoke with Tracy and Chris for a few polite minutes, but when I picked...

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A Decision, Two Lives and a Consequence

With no son to fill every nook and cranny of my time, I was confronted by my life when I closed the door behind me in the flat. It loomed in the structure of the large wooden desk I’d told my husband...

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Who is She?

Wrote Sunday 13 January 2013, I. ___________________________________________________________________________________________ I looked back on my words. “You had a wonderful birthday.  I dressed you...

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What goes UP must come DOWN – if you drag it down, kick it & stomp on its...

AN ASIDE…Of today. . It is just that edge of perverse, when you shop for poison.  Yet, one man’s pen is the other woman’s poison, so that which I bought myself last night without appetite for it,...

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My Number 5 Top.

Sometimes life “just goes on” – no problems.  It’s a bit surreal, when that happens. I am used to difficulty – problems of the people or problems of the mind – but for a while, just a few weeks, life...

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Belong

The Indian Ocean breathed upon Daniel and me.  We sat on its shore, at its edge.  It whispered to my consciousness.  I felt so present upon Earth.  Small, but real. I was conscious of my mortality,...

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Tracy in The Dark

“No Dadda today,” Daniel said as I strapped him into his car seat.  I looked at him.  This was the second time he had said that. “Sweetheart  –” I began. “No Dadda today!” Daniel said again, half in...

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If you lock him in a cupboard, that’s child abuse

With the entirety of our belongings in boxes and bags around us, Daniel and me stood in our empty lounge. I remembered the first time I learned the word ‘entirety’.  I used it at school, the next...

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The sheer terror in this man’s voice, his fear extreme – I’m sorry, I just...

Good morning Subbers! Whether the sun is streaming through trees just outside your window right now, or it’s grey being the second day of Winter as in Australia this Sunday morning, I wish to share...

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Confessions by Mother

“No Dadda today”, Daniel said as I slipped my bag over my shoulder, swept the car keys off the kitchen bench and told him we must go now.  By my outfit, he knew I was heading for business. I looked at...

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Served

The lock of Tom’s Yoga Room clunked free and I swung open the heavy door.  Daniel marched in, sure and knowing of our routine – but then stopped short.  I stepped inside, and was met with Tom in the...

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His tiny fingers blindly seeking, curled around a heart string, errant. And...

I kissed the top of Daniel’s head, his soft brown hair to my lips.  I breathed in his young life, and let him go.  He stood before me, my two year old, his face seeking reassurance that all was okay....

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Justify your love

Good morning and the wealth of wellness to you all! Thank you each for your comments, encouragement, your touche, re my last post.  It truly is wonderful, particularly as isolation has largely been my...

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Blessed banishment

I was sure that the orange of the sunset painted walls of the yoga room tinged Tom and Daniel’s cheeks as Tom, over six foot tall, held Daniel on his shoulders, talking to me.  I also saw the...

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